As I write this post, I am struggling to focus. I can't stop looking around my room at the purple roses my boyfriend gave me, my bed that's littered in pajamas and blankets, and my extensive candle collection that sits on my dresser behind my desk. But what I do know that it is never too late to get answers. It is never too late to start fresh. It is never too late to get help.
Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 26 years old. In some ways I feel completely shocked, but in other ways I'm not surprised at all. I feel relief, fear and frustration all at once. It's overwhelming.
The truth is, I don't know what lies ahead of me. It's crazy how I feel like I can see so clearly through my clients' situations, but when it comes to myself, I feel helpless. Luckily, I have an amazing care team and incredible family and friends who will continue to support me as they have throughout the years.
An ADHD diagnosis, especially as an adult, can be jarring. It's by no means the end of the world, and trust me when I say that I am well aware that there are many worse things to be diagnosed with...but that doesn't mean that that this is easy and fun to go through.
It's forcing me to see my entire life through a different lens. It explains why assignments in high school that should've taken one hour would take me five hours. It explains why I would write down every word my former boss said because I knew that if I didn't, I would forget it all. It explains why I answered ACT test questions out of order because I felt like it helped me focus better. It also explains why to this day, I feel like I blink and hours pass by. It is so overwhelming.
While I write about all the challenges that I face as a person with ADHD, I feel embarrassed and hesitant to talk about my experience. If my job is to be an ADHD and Executive Function Coach, am I allowed to admit that I struggle? Will future clients not want to work with me because I don't have it all "figured out"? Am I admitting to something that will make me look bad and appear incapable of doing my job? These are the fears that rush through my head as I write this, but I realized something that put it all into perspective for me.
Humans crave authenticity. We want to work and interact with people who feel human. We want to work with individuals who are honest, open and sincere. If it was all about efficiency and not about humanity, heart and soul, then my clients would choose to work with a machine. They would not choose to work with me.
My current and future clients appreciate vulnerability, see strength in acknowledging struggles and value those who find solutions to their problems. That is what I do both in my job and in my personal life day in and day out. I show up, I use the mechanisms I have in place, I lead with knowledge, love, care and respect, and I support and accept others for who they truly are. I let my clients know how proud I am of them, and I hope they know that I really mean it. I help them find strategies that work for them, and will never give up until we figure out what works best. I adjust, I adapt, and I support in every way.
The road to get here hasn't been easy, because ADHD management is a lifelong journey. There will always be many ups and downs along the way, but it will all be worth it in the end.
If you have ADHD or even think that you do, I want to leave you with this:
You will get to live the life that you've always dreamed of. It might take a little longer or be a little harder, but if you put the work in and reach out when you need support, you will get there. I know you will, because if I can do it, then I know you can too. <3
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